Public Transport and My Will to Live!

You ever stand on a packed train platform at 8:03 a.m., wondering if this is your villain origin story? 😐🕗

Because I did.

This morning.

It started with hope. Rookie mistake. ☕✨

I had my oat latte, my noise-cancelling headphones (which were emotionally symbolic, not functional) 🎧, and a vague sense that today might be okay.

Then the train was announced. And everything fell apart. 🚨

Suddenly I was shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers, inhaling someone’s leftover cologne from 2007 - “Regret by Axe,” I believe. 💨💀

The train arrived, doors creaked open like a scene from The Walking Dead: Commuter Edition, and we surged forward like it was the Hunger Games meets passive-aggressive yoga. 🧘‍♂️🔥🧟‍♀️

Once inside, I found myself trapped in an aisle between:

• A man with a guitar case the size of a kayak 🎸🛶

• Someone unwrapping a hard-boiled egg like it was a Fabergé artifact 🥚✨

• And a woman loudly narrating her group chat like it was a TED Talk 💬🎤

The air was... moist. 😵‍💫💦

That’s all I can say.

Moist and somehow warm but not warm. Like being hugged by someone you don’t like but can’t escape. 🤢

As I tried to pretend I was invisible, my elbow brushed the guitar guy. 🎸
He exhaled dramatically.

Sir, we are in a metal tube powered by rage and fumes.

No one’s thriving here. 🚆🔥

The train jolted. My oat latte sloshed. ☕💦
I made accidental eye contact with a man who looked like he hadn’t slept since 2003. 🫣

We entered a staring contest I never agreed to.

He won. 👁️👁️

Meanwhile, the train made its announcement:

“This is… [muffled static] 📢 …due to an earlier delay… [screeching brake] …thank you for your patience.” 🎙️🚧

My patience is in a shallow grave behind platform 4.

🪦📍

Then came the slow-motion chaos.
The train stopped 1.7 metres before my station. 🚷

Doors refused to open.

A woman near me audibly sighed like she’d just found out her holiday was cancelled. 😩✈️

Someone near the back said, “I’m going to be so late.” 🕒

Someone near the front whispered, “I think I’m dying.” ☠️

I finally got off 6 stops too late and had to walk backwards like a reverse pilgrim. 🚶‍♀️↩️

It was raining.

But only on me. 🌧️🧍‍♀️

Public transport isn’t just a commute.

It’s a personality test wrapped in trauma, and I’m failing with grace and mild B.O. 🧠💫🫠

🚆🔥 The Management (just missed the train and the will to live)

Lins

Because your silence is never empty!