🧠 15 Things Introverts Secretly Think During Small Talk

1. “Oh no, it’s starting.” 😬
The universal introvert panic when someone opens with “Crazy weather, huh?” and you realize… there’s no escape route.

2. “I’ve already used my interesting fact for the year.” 📚
And it was about a weird bird migration pattern I read at 2am. I peaked too soon.

3. “How many follow-up questions until I can pretend to check my phone?” 📱😅
Asking for a friend. And by “friend,” I mean my sanity.

4. “Why do I sound like a malfunctioning robot when I talk about what I do?” 🤖💼
“I… write things. On purpose. For… people?” Cool. Nailed it.

5. “Please don’t ask me where I see myself in five years.” 🔮😩
Still overthinking this conversation. That’s where.

6. “Why do extroverts talk like their thoughts are on fire?” 🔥😵
Meanwhile I’m mentally buffering and trying to remember my own name.

7. “I’ve smiled so much my face hurts.” 🙂😬
But if I stop smiling, I’ll look unapproachable. Which… is kind of the goal?

8. “This conversation feels like two people trying to reboot a dying Wi-Fi signal.” 📶💬
Strong start. Weird lag. Occasional glitch. No real connection.

9. “How do I leave without faking a medical emergency?” 🏃‍♀️🩺
Asking if “my anxiety has a dentist appointment” is a believable exit.

10. “I miss being alone. Loudly. In silence.” 🖤🔕
Small talk is fine. But deep talk or no talk? That’s the dream.

11. “Oh god, they’re making eye contact.” 👀
Do I look away? Smile? Pretend to sneeze? Am I even blinking right now?

12. “I could be home. In sweatpants. Talking to no one.” 🛋️😌
But nooo, I chose “growth” and “leaving the house.” Mistakes were made.

13. “What if I just nodded through this entire conversation?” 🤝😅
They’ll never know I mentally checked out halfway through the sentence “My cousin just got into sales…”

14. “This is why I rehearse conversations in the shower.” 🚿💬
And yet somehow, I never plan for “So, what do you do exactly?”

15. “Is it over yet?” ⏳😩
I’ve survived dentist visits, Wi-Fi outages, and existential dread… but this? This is my personal Everest.